So, I got really really really bored today and just started writing just cuz I felt like it. Umm....IDK I am SO sick of people using pickup lines. I mean not even the GOOD ones like "I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?" **inside joke with my friend Jacob.** They use the lame, overused ones that you automatically know the ending to just from the first word. At the same time, I'm equally sick of people who've been friends with you forever turning into selfish bitches who try to steal the love of your whole life (I know I'm 15. Get over it.) So I turned a bunch of pickup lines into insults in a poem. It's kinda...amateur compared to my others which are a lot deeper than this because those were written in my more depressed moods. But this one made my critical bitch sister laugh, so I'm posting it.
Hey baby,
Are you okay?
I could've sworn I saw you fall...
Straight from heaven...
Cuz your face is really messed up.
But don't worry about that.
On a scale of one to ten, you're an eleven.
And the scale begs for mercy asking for one person at a time.
If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together...
On a desert island so I could burn U alive and use your remains as bait to catch my fish.
But I'd tap that...
With the hood of my car.
You thought I meant I'd have sex with you?
No thanks, I'll stay in tonight
Because I'd rather not get AIDS.
Thanks for the offer though,
You sexy gorilla.
Oh...you're a person...my bad
So, I guess you would have to know me and who I am and stuff before any of that would be seen as non-offensive. It wasn't intended as offensive. It just ended up that way. Yes, I have lots of built up anger. Don't judge me.
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